I go to bars to pick up a good beer, not a good man.
Last weekend I was out being the typical third wheel with two friends (two friends I set up and am now consquently witnessing fall in love, which is fabulous….for them). Anyway we went out to our favorite “dive” bar which has a great beer selection and therefore many male patrons. I was more interested in scouring the beer list for something tall, dark and handsome to tantalize my taste buds then taking in the man candy. My girlfriend kept pulling my arm “Ohh look twelve o’clock, shaggy brown hair.” or “What about that one, playing darts.”
I appreciate her interest, but I am completely disenchanted with finding a boyfriend or even a boy toy at a drinking hole these days. I’m just over the bar scene. To me, pick-ups lines are a complete turn off and to make matters worse I failed flirting 101…multiple times. I’m not “meat market” material.
But here’s is the real dilemma, I’m not going to meet Mr. Right at the private yoga sessions held in my living room courtesy of my Wii or at work….god forbid. The dog park continues to not be a breeding ground for human love and the indy movie house I frequent…is well dark and quiet.
So what’s a girl to do. The time has come, I need to suck it up and put on my game face. I need to make myself open and available….and finally master the art of flirting, and hopefully find something tall, dark and handsome in the process:)
When a relationship comes to an end to you defriend?
It’s an easy question to answer when the relationship has been long and the breakup-up intense. In those situations I can’t hit the delete button fast enough. But what about the dating scenarios that fall into the grey zone…you know the ones… maybe it was just a couple months or a handle full of dates…things just weren’t meant to be. When do you pull the plug?
In college I had many relationships end with the following cop out “You’re great, fantastic. You’re the kind of girl I want to marry, but I’m not ready for marriage.” Up until my early twenties, however painful these words were, in a way, they were empowering, confirming that yes I would one day meet my knight in shining armour because I AM the kinda girl you bring home to mom.
That was years ago. Now at 28 when those same words start to come out of a man’s mouth I start to sweat as I enter the dating nightmare that has become my personal life. Men in their late twenties, early thirties, even mid thirties continue to feed me this line as if it is poetry. Like it will leave me smiling as they ride off into the sunset to continue playing the field, feeding their physical needs, all while leaving broken hearts in their wake.
The real irony…..I am the kind of girl you marry…but I’m not ready for marriage… not yet.
I love a smoldering movie star and tight-jean wearing rocker as much as the next girl, but was really turns me on is intelligence. Lucky for me thanks to our new administration I have a new, well-read crush….Jon Favreau, Obama’s chief speechwriter. Not only is the twenty-seven year old in Obama’s inner circle but he has penned some of the speech lines that have made my heart, along with the hearts of millions of other Americans, skip a beat.
Favreau originally worked as John Kerry’s deputy speech writer and joined Obama when he was a freshman senator. According to my googling he plays Rock Band, drinks Red Bull and frequently pulls all nighters drafting the latest presidential address. He often writes in tandem with Obama, extremly rare for a political speech writer. A guy who can hold his own with the president while playing syntax scrabble! This just keeps getting better.
Now for the down side apparently he is dating a Maxim model who went to Harvard….
A Healthy, Home Cooked Meal
Last night I made home made takeout..Moo Shu Noodles a la Rachel Ray. They were delicious, healthy and cheaper than the local Chinese joint. The only downside is now I have enough faux takeout to last me a week. http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/moo-shu-noodles/(substitute whole wheat egg noodles for a healthier alternative)
I don’t know if it’s the sarcasm, the scruff or arrogant intelligence but I have recently become enamoured with Gregory House. In the last six weeks I have watched all five seasons…yes I need more of a life outside of my apartment but in the meantime this keeps me happy. Tune into Fox on Mondays at 8pm…
It tastes good and each one has a mere 64 calories…need I say more?
The Local Library
I have recently rediscovered the local library. Browsing the musty aisles reminds me of summer afternoons when I was eight and my mom would take me to the library in our small New England town. We would scourer the shelves to find great reads that would help me rise to the top of the Summer Reading All Start list.
So I know I am a late adopter…it took my friends 4 years to convince me to join) but did you know you can now reserve and renew books online? I submit requests for the books I want and they are delivered from other libraries to the branch down the street from me. It’s fabulous being frugal!
A belt can instantly pull together an outfit and make you look like a fashionista. Next time you grab your favorite go to ensemble add a belt and you will instantly have a new look. Belts have helped me pull together new looks recently without pulling out the wallet….unless of course to buy a really cool, hip new belt.
5.) The fall air that brings the need for a cute sweater or cropped jacket at night
4.) My latest splurge…Frye boots…that go with anything from dresses to skinny jeans
3.) Benefits Throb blush…an instant pick-me-up
2.) Leinenkugel’s Oktoberfest…. fall simply calls for a cold one
1.) Ciao Bella Mable Ginger Snap Gelato
Where as I have been labeled cold, unapproachable and shy, my dog Lily is often characterized as a social butterfly or life of the party. In fact she has invited herself into so many coffee shops and restaurants in our neighborhood, more locals know her name then mine. Even the security guard in my building talks more to her than to me. I have lived in the building for two and a half years and he still doesn’t know my name…granted I have never formally introduced myself even though we have had countless conversations. It is a person few and far between that comes across Lily and doesn’t fall head over heels for her. In fact I think I could list them on one hand. There is the woman who lives upstairs from me who asks Lily and I to exit the elevator as she enters; the homeless man on the corner who screams at Lily in a tongue that I believe stems from outer space and finally a former roommate who couldn’t understand why Lily would try day after day to get her three cats to play with her. When Lily was six months old I thought I would utilize her social skills to meet people and by people I mean single men. Dog parks are to dog owners what bars are to the rest of the single population. Plus at a dog park you have a built in pick up line…..”Is he a boxer mix???” or “She’s great at playing fetch”. I thought becoming a regular at a local dog park would improve my dating dry spell. The problem is I am not the only single women who thought the dog park would be a gold mine for the dating impaired. Instead of meeting, eligible, dog loving bachelors I have met lots of single, often bitter, women. In fact the dog park has now become the equivalent of a long, tedious plane ride. Just yesterday I was trying to desperately catch up on book club book when middle-aged woman after woman kept coming up and trying to start a conversation. It was like sitting next to chatty Kathy on a transatlantic flight! Don’t‘ get me wrong it’s nice to meet knew people….every once and I while. But don’t they understand…I already have a best girlfriend, her name is Lily:)